Thursday, January 25, 2007
Defining Moments
I realized that as this gentleman sat across me and asked me simple questions about employment, growth and what i could give to his company, that my gut had crossed a threshold.
It's difficult to answer professional questions while having a searing inner debate between your heart and your head. Harder than it sounds, at least. So, while my mouth was forming answers to these questions with words like "challenge" and "dedication" my heart was busy telling my head that i already knew that i couldn't work for this gentleman.
We closed up the interview, and i was driven back to the airport and spent a few hours on an airplane staring into space, wondering what grand design or plan that my heart had to do after it had decided for me to turn down the last job offer that i've had in the last few weeks. My heart simply shrugs, and as nonchalantly as possible (he can be arrogant like that when he knows he's right) informed me that this job would ask me to do things i wasn't ready to do.. namely, be on the road 3 weeks a month.
Begrudgingly, i get off of the plane in Denver and drive back to Fort Collins, my happy house and my beautiful wife. And it shames my head that it took the entire trip home for it to catch up with my heart, but, he was completely right. The next morning finds me back to square one, following up with more contacts, scouring for more openings and debating the merits of simply working for REI, but I do so with a lighter heart, and the knowledge that i haven't sold out.
Yet, at least.
It's difficult to answer professional questions while having a searing inner debate between your heart and your head. Harder than it sounds, at least. So, while my mouth was forming answers to these questions with words like "challenge" and "dedication" my heart was busy telling my head that i already knew that i couldn't work for this gentleman.
We closed up the interview, and i was driven back to the airport and spent a few hours on an airplane staring into space, wondering what grand design or plan that my heart had to do after it had decided for me to turn down the last job offer that i've had in the last few weeks. My heart simply shrugs, and as nonchalantly as possible (he can be arrogant like that when he knows he's right) informed me that this job would ask me to do things i wasn't ready to do.. namely, be on the road 3 weeks a month.
Begrudgingly, i get off of the plane in Denver and drive back to Fort Collins, my happy house and my beautiful wife. And it shames my head that it took the entire trip home for it to catch up with my heart, but, he was completely right. The next morning finds me back to square one, following up with more contacts, scouring for more openings and debating the merits of simply working for REI, but I do so with a lighter heart, and the knowledge that i haven't sold out.
Yet, at least.
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1 comment:
I prefer the insanity of the heart to the insanity of the head as well! If only it suggested more reasonable courses of action, I'd follow it all the time ;)
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